Its a weird feeling

I can't sleep tonight.

Something bothers me..

I rarely have this kinda feeling..

Mayb I did twice or few times in KTT before..

 

I felt the exact same feelin on17th August last time..

It was my bday..

Ya Allah.. I miss my family..

I couldn't express more of this feeling anywhere as I feel weaker, down, feeling like a useless brat, too dependent if they know about this..

I know no one would read this blog..

So I decided to pour it here..

 

I couldn't believe it myself..

Me, the Nur Akmal Ariff which I sort of call light of perfection..

Who's always excited for new adventure and now feeling something weird deep in her heart..

Missing her family..

 

MashaAllah..

I've nothing other than missing word which I could describe..

Ive never been away more than 3 weeks from my parents..

And now its already a month pass..

Im busy everyday..

Time flies fast..

We do contact, call, Skype but its never the same..

It wasn't the voice that matter.

Neither the action which is giving remarking feeling..

Its the presence..

 

I miss it when I answer their call from inside of my room..

I miss it when they ask me for breakfast..

When they knock my door and remind me for solah..

Called my name and asked for some help..

When we watch drama together and each one act like the director..

Serve them is like my aim everyday..

To give the best as what they have provided me..

 

 

Every time I gave them a call, umi will says

" bila ada cuti, nak balik, balik je la "

 

But how can that be possible for me?

She seems to sense of how much I miss her hug..

She always spare one for me everyday..

And kissing abah's hand for a good night wish..

 

They wanted to come..

But I don't wanna trouble them..

Its not easy to reach here..

Its not as comfortable as how you would travel to anywhere else..

At least until im familiarize with this area..

I want them to have the best visit here..

 

Every time I've sad stories I hold myself from shading tears in front of people..

I wanna seemed strong..

 " Tak macho la nangis "

That's my favourite quote before my eyes turn red most of the time..

But in front of You Allah..

I wish I could shade more..

I would cry more..

I miss umi and abah..

 

Umi always says :

" x pe ma.. ma ingat Allah eh.. buat apa2 pun kerana Allah eh.. jangan lupa solat.. doa selalu.. x pe la apa pun org buat kat kema ke.. kema niat kerana Allah je eh.. nk g mana2 jgn lupa baca doa.. "

 

And Abah always remind me :

" solat! jangan lupa baca doa abah ajar "

" be grateful of what Allah has given us..

wealth, health, happiness,

Why do we never thanks Him for all this?

Why do you keep doing the things He prohibited? "

 

Can't forget the day I departed

When everything turn to chaos

From somewhere Abah seems to walk fast

He gave me a packet of chocs

Its Bounty :')

One of my favourite

He says :

" take care of your meal "

I often get gastric and bloated stomach

However the best part is when..

I pass the departure gate, Kak Ain gave me a call..

She told me Abah ran to the chocs store becoz I didn't manage to have

my proper dinner that night..

When he reached Kak Ain, he told her :

" Ini bnda yang paling penting nak bg kat kema ni "

 

 

I haven't finish it..

I love it in a chilled way..

Gonna wait till winter..

huhuhu ^_^

 

Ya Allah as how they taught me to remember You

 

Please remember them

More than how I remember You in all my day

Please love them

More than how they could love me

Please bless them

More than how You bless me when I obey themselves

Please take a good care of them

More than you could ever know how they care about me

Please spare jannah for them

Even if Im not meant there

 

O Allah make me strong as how You made me before

Keep me positive as how You made it a gift before

Bring me the light as how You shown me the bulb

Stay with me as how You never leave

Save me as my Saviour

Accompany me as my beloved

 

Tell them I'm okay

Tell me they're okay

 

Im here for Allah, for them and for my passion

As  how I always express my passion,

the reason Im here for them can make thousand books of endless pages

compare the passion I've kept years in my heart

And for You with my soul in every heart beat

InsyaAllah~~

 

Make me a good Med Student O Allah

Make me a great doctor

Who serves the ummah

Spreading the smiles within The Syahadah

 

May Allah bless my family

InsyaAllah

Lots of blessful love to Al Nassir-ians